Desperate Indays

"Listen, Susan, I know for a lot of women the word 'menopause' has negative connotations. You hear 'aging,' 'brittle bones,' 'loss of sexual desire,'" said the doctor who was cut midway from his explanation by an agitated Mayer. "OK, before we go any further, can I check these diplomas? Coz, I just want to make sure they’re not from some med school in the Philippines'" she said while searching for the doctor’s records. He apparently graduated from Harvard Medical School.

An American got the nerve to say that? How dare you? You Americans cant even speak gramatically correct English ,your national language, the global language!. Now tell me, who's the dumbest, a smart alien in your country or you who's very liberated that even your own language can't be communicated correctly?

Whose the real inday?

The Inday phenomena in the SMS is a very popular past time of Filipinos today. it was just like the Ederlyn mania where her story begins when she invited people in her party and the reader's first reaction is "huh? who the hell are you?" This fiction character became very popular for Filipino texters. She was the laughingstock of the town. But then, her stardome declines like some other fiction personalities, pugad baboy, darna, cinderella.

And then, Inday came out from nowhere. The English-speaking, smart, talented, sophisticated Nanny who makes high-end foods as pabaon for her alaga. She became a nurse, a professor, engineer, doctor, accountant. The big fact is She's just a Nanny. And the even bigger fact is, Nannies must not just be nannies forever. They must not be limited of greater opportunities. But the biggest fact is that, most nanny's mentality is that they'll be forever Nanny. Now, back to Inday. What made her popular was her intelligence. What made her the weakest was just the mere fact that she is just a house-keeper, a Nanny, a yaya.

CONNEXION

Yes, Filipinos has got the trust of the world, their skills, their talents, their professions, they credibility. And yes, inspite this fact, we are still seen as one of the lowest race in the world. I dont know why, is it because of our Overseas filipino who works as house-keeper or because of our history? Inday, is this the new epitome of Filipino workers? With great character but of low value? I'll not be surprised if after 10, 20 , 30 years from now on. Inday is the new Juan dela Cruz. The new symbol for Filipinos. When will we wake up in his sad fact? When will be that time, where Filipinos rule the world?

For me, I'm positive of the saying that "bilog and mundo". That one of these days, these Americans will be the one serving us. One of these days, I will see an american beggar, roaming around like a hungry dog. One of these days, these Americans will be the one migrating to the Philippines. And one of these days, Sharon Cuneta says in her tv series "OK, before we go any further, can I check these diplomas? Coz, I just want to make sure they’re not from some med school in US of fucking A!"

ForeiNurse

FOREINURSING (fo-rey-ner-seng)

New Course.

New Curriculum.

Newly added subjects : VISA Application 1 with VISA Assistance, Fixer management (how to avoid illegal transactions and learn how to bamboozle suspicious transactors), Country Orientation: Study of culture, arts, society and people of countries that have big demands of nurses, Sideline management (how to handle and deal with sideline opportunities abroad, TNT 1 ( how to fake your name), TNT 2 (how to change your face and fashion statement), TNT 3 (how to choose a location that authorities will not be able to identify where you are), Advance TNT with a study of MMMM* relationships (Fastest, easiest and saftiest way to acquire Greencard).

To master these aspects, it will be 6 units each with a 80% passing mark on all, yes, ALL kinds of exams.

Whew!

This new title will enormously increase the enrollees of nursing students since the approach is utterly direct and/or straight to the point. ForeiNursing simply comes from the word Foreign and Nursing. ForeiNursing - Nursing students who studies here and work abroad. That's exactly the definition. Don't get me wrong, I dont mean to bastardize the course or put down the nurses. I do have close friends who are nurses and are still into nursing. What I'm trying to point out here is the people's frame of mind about being a nurse. Damn, 100% of them dreams of working abroad, 90% chosed nursing because this might change their lives in the future and only 1% of them has this most popular line of cute lil girls in the Little Miss Philippines, "Para po makatulong sa kapwa pilipino"(and the host wil say, Wow! ang bait na bata). You think this child will ever had the guts to say that again after 20 years? I doubt.

I had a friend who recently passed the nursing board exam. He has a brother, graduated from Marketing in an exclusive school and decided to take Nursing as a second course. I know someone who passed the bar exam and decided to take Nursing after struggling to be a lawyer. I heard from the news that most of the Philippine's finest doctors are enrolled in Nursing.

This is the Nursing phenomena era.

Yes, they have the goal to be succesful in life. they have the vision of uplifting the social class of their families. Five, Ten, Fifteen years from now, they will be wealthier, more successful, more glamorous, more conquering, boaster and stingier.

Four years ago, my mother, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends want me take Nursing. M mind says, why not? But my heart says, "Oh com'on dont fool yourself buddy!"

In this fast pacing generation, there's only one thing that comes into their mind when they heard of Nursing. ABROAD.

I want to go abroad but I don't want to work nor live there permanently. Simply for one thing, there's no place like home.

Letting Go..

I just love this song.


Piano in the dark by Nina

When I find myself watching the time
I never think about all the funny things you said
I feel like it's dead
Where is it leading me now?

I turn around in the still of the room
Knowing this is when I'm gonna make my move
Can't wait any longer
And I'm feeling stronger but oh

Just as I walk through the door
I can feel your emotions here
It's pullin' me back
(Just a little more back)
Back to love you

Oh no, caught up in the middle
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no, gave up on the riddle
I cry just a little
When he plays piano in the dark

He holds me close like a thief of the heart
He plays the melody
Born to tear me all apart
Silence is broken
And no words are spoken but oh

Just as I walk through the door
I can feel your emotions here
It's pullin' me back
(Just a little more back)
Back to love you

Oh no, caught up in the middle
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no, gave up on the riddle
I cry just a little
When he plays piano in the dark

*music plays*

Silence is broken
And no words are spoken but oh

Just as I walk through the door
I can feel your emotions here
It's pullin' me back
(Just a little more back)
Back to love you

Oh no, caught up in the middle
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no, gave up on the riddle
I cry just a little, oh i cry i cry
Oh no, caught up in the middle
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no, gave up on the riddle
I cry just a little
When he plays piano in the dark

ouch.. my tooth!

Qoute
Letting go is like a tooth pulled out from a dentist.

Pull it out, you're relieved. but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it wasn't hurting you doesn't mean you dont nottice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself mmissing it terribly. It's going to take a while, but it takes time.

Should u have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain. Let go.

Anonymous

Unqoute

*******************************

Very well said. When i read this message, I can't help but cry. Yes, someone caused me so much pain but now She was just one of my tooth that was pulled out. A tooth is a tooth. When that is pulled out from you, you can never return it back. Yes, it had been part of my mouth, loved by my gums, and enjoyed eating with me, but, you cannot just twist somebody's arm and say "i want you to stay," if that tooth is determined to leave you, it'll leave you.

Its hard to say goodbye with the feeling that you knew it will last. But hey, Life must go on. As i said, there's a whole world out there. The problem now is how to get out of the world i once belong. But I know this is just momentary, this too shall pass. I know.

Confessions

I have a confession to make.

I never had a (real) girlfriend since birth. But who cares? My mom likes it better without it. My high school friends (some) dont have it either since birth, so why should i be pressured? Why should i feel sad about it?

Yes, i didnt had a girlfriend.

The big "BUT" is, I loved some, I am loved and cared by my friends and family.

I am not all alone afterall.

I'm single and I'm Happy.

______________________________________________________


under this line is my inner self..

I'm Insecured. I'm pressured. I'm sad. I'm all alone.

Wait For Me

Look up...

Have you ever heard what the clouds above are saying? Have you ever notice their spectacular perfect picturesque when you look up and the sun is behind them giving them the limelight? And you say "wow!" You can't help but stare the stunning painting-like vista.

Think of this...

Would like your sky to look like a dull plain sky blue when it's raining hard (and you feel like crying), and all you can see is the pouring rain and the shinig sun? (Waah can't imagine it, though scientifically impossible but "what if")

Clouds. Whatever form and color a cloud has in a day or daypart, it's still one of the most amazing creation He made.

I'm always fascinated with clouds, though i dont have the SLR cam to copy the exact scenery, their beauty had been saved forever in my memory.

Yes, Im in love with the clouds. My day is not complete without gazing at the sky where sun and clouds diverge into a panorama of a startling depiction.

For me, I still believe in the saying that behind the clouds, the sun still shining. But is'nt more challenging if both sun and clouds are simultaneously present in your life during those trials? It's good to have clouds sometimes because this will make you a stronger person but having them both at the same time balances it all. (well i guess you understood what i meant with my metaphors)

Whew! As I saw outside awhile ago, Sir Sun is not fully out, the sky is occupied with gray clouds. Such a forlorn day but is'nt such the finest time to summon up things of what's going on with your life? Recollect and internalize? For me, if i have the time now, I'll go up in the helipad of this building and just sit on the corner. Feel the air. Reflect. Reminisce. Remind myself that there is a whole world out there, waiting, eager to meet me up. Well, hello world, wait for me, I'm near of letting go of my past. And slowly but surely... Moving on.

LOST but not yet FOUND

Falling to someone like you maybe so easy. You're kind, sweet , and beautiful. Yes, i fell from your charms and smiles from your face.Your charms completed a piece in my puzzle. Your face lights up my whole world.

YOU stole my heart but left me hanging. I dont know what to do coz i just let you stole it and hoping that you'll return him back. Days had passed and even months, but my heart never returns. I decided to find where you had hid it but you refuse to let me in. I was so lost to find it.I was confident before because I thought that when the time you've stole it from me, i know he'll come back quickly . But i wasnt able to figure out where the hell my heart is. You stubbed my chest, dissect it and got my heart. i dont know where you put it. im afraid to ask. I'll be a like a fool if i'll still continue this fantasy of finding where my heart is. But please, if you had junk or put him somewhere around your heart, or maybe you're still holding it in your arms..,, please.. return it to me.. let me have my heart back.. let me be the one to fix it... let me move on and let other thief stole my heart. There were a lot of them who had passed by, but they never found my heart because my heart is with you.
let me have it.. let me in and find it...

SHE Was a FICTION

FICTION-GENERAL

I.
I am perfect.
Well, that is all what people thinks of me. Neat, geek bachelor with a good job and a good pay, from a good family, came from what stupid companies termed of as “reputable school.”
Here’s what I can say, I am not perfect, no one is, I believe. Not even close to it. I had flaws. I had a fart that is earsplitting. I got 3’s in my grades. I got 4’s and 5’s in my quizzes. I cheat. I idiotically loved someone who actually played along. I had been broken, both heart and mind. I’m not psychotic, though I said my mind conked out. I feel I was and I’m still. I just can’t do anything but to sigh, sigh and sigh again.
I tried to list some things why people thought I was such an ideal person. Yeah, they’re right, I am smart, I was geeky boring at school, and I’m the whata-you-talkin-bout-guy with all the innocence and virginity (of thoughts). I was a leader at school and even luckily hit the national.
And here’s the worst, they thought I have this box of women that I can just like choose a fish from the aquarium. Whew! Paradoxical. How can I have this aquarium thing, I never had a girlfriend since birth.
Yes you read it right and clear, “since birth”.
Though, I bought flowers, chocolates, toy bears and all those stuffs, I wrote love letters, sang a few good songs not for me of course, but to each and every girl I loved.
If “love” is the right word, so be it. Besides, I’m the author of this so don’t you dare spoil my journal. Joke.
There is this woman I once courted and yes before you read the next lines, I did loved her; she annoyed me every time she insist of telling me that what I felt for her was not love but pure infatuation. Hell, what do you know about what I feel, have you ever dared to make yourself in to mine and interview my heart like, “hey Mr. Heart, you ain’t love me, do you?”
Love has a lot of different meaning from different people. A simple kiss might be sign of love; a simple H.H.W.W. (Holding hands while walking) M.P.S.S.P. (May Pa- Sway Sway Pa) (ah whatever!) and that’s-so-tight-I-can’t-breath-ahh hugs might be some acts of love for others and might be nothing for someone who just tries to use someone maybe as an accessory or just mere doll.

II.
Literally.
Love /l&v/ is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.
Game /gaym/ n. 1 a form or spell of play or sport, esp. a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck.
Have you ever been dumped off like a trash and at the end, you realized that all you’ve been through with that someone was just some sort of game to her? And, with to highest level of absurdity, you don’t know why you still love that person; you still open a tiny hope that maybe someday she’ll come back saying, “I was wrong when I let you go”; “I want you back”.
Insensitive /(")in-'sen(t)-s(&-)tiv/ adj. 1. Not responsive or susceptible. 2. The art of being numb despite that fact that you exactly know what is going on. 3. Lacking feeling or tact (so insensitive as to laugh at someone in pain).
Am I the insensitive one because I didn’t saw the whole thing that made me look like a loser? Or she just anesthetized herself so as not to feel the mere fact that I and her inner self have communally felt something beyond friendship?
Pathetic isn’t it?

Yes, I lose in her game. I was lost in her world.
I was pathetically insane, believed that she’ll love me back, and believed in my faith that somehow, her feelings for me will grow. I hoped because she gave me a tiny chance, I hoped because she made me felt that I should.
Melodramatic. This is my tag. I’m sensitive and I wish that it’ll rain whenever I cry so no one will ever notice every single drop of tear. It’s so gay, I know. But who cares, every tear made me a man. A man who knows how to let the pain out, letting his eyes be wet for a moment and reflect on everything that is happening to his life, a man who knows how to love and cry.
Why do we cry? At some point, we realized that crying over spilled milk can never rewind scenes. At the end of the day, we get tired of sobbing the same reason, the same being and the same fact that it was all a dream, afar from reality.

III.
“It was the first time in my life that I fought for something that is real”.
Choy_78
The first time that I loved someone without hesitations, without inhibitions. It grew and I can’t help but to let it grow like a plant that is watered and exposed in the sun. I am dumb and innocent of the word and process of courtship but I was able to impress her effortlessly. I was able to get her trust. I was able to invite her into movies and date. We were happy together and we cherish each moment we are together. But then I woke one morning and it was all gone. I don’t know what happened. She neither.
This is the mystery of Love, you didn’t knew that it started and worst is you don’t know when it will end.

IV.
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